"If there's something really wonderful, I'll buy one"

With that philosophy, Michael Jackson amassed an amazing collection of fancy crap. Briefly seeing it all on the auction block was a reminder that, under the weirdness, he's actually quite a dull guy. Read it here.

How to calm a crying baby

It may be five in the morning, but you've also got Dylan liner notes at your disposal. So relax, and take some advice from a dad. Read it here.

"You'd have to rethink many, many things"

That was Tony Blair discussing his new faith's attitudes towards homosexuality with a gay magazine. Unfortunately for him, there is no third way when it comes to church and state. Read it here.

"I think we should thank Mr. Kenney for the publicity"

Indeed, George Galloway won the battle to get his nutty ideas heard, and Jason Kenney ended up looking like the enemy of a raving lunatic. So who really lost? The rest of us. Read it here.

"Do some yoga, paint some landscape and run on the beach"

Greg Gutfeld's infamous joke at the expense of our military was just the ugliest example of American television's new wave of humour at the expense of Canada. Too bad it's neither funny nor accurate. Read it here.

The demise of the overconfident jackass

How's this for American resilience? Rahm Emanuel and his tough SOB brethren have officially replaced the douchebag. No excuses. Read it here. 

"Jade Goody views sunset, asks for Coke"

When you sell the rights to your final days to OK!magazine, that's the sort of headline you can expect. It's also the most extreme case of the celebrity culture that's taken over the world. Read it here.